When did Martin McGuinness become such a statesman?
Now don’t get me wrong. Don’t go jumping all over my bones just yet.You know I don’t really give a tuppeny damn about any of our politicians of any stripe.Well..I may have a soft spot for the odd “face”. The odd one who may have a bit of wit or possess some charm . The odd one who can actually argue a case with a little sense and the odd flicker of real humour…not that dull-witted nonsense that passes for wit most of the time in Norneverland, Ireland.
Having lived for over sixty years, it’s a sad fact that anything that can happen in Norneverland , right up to civil unrest, near civil war , exploding buildings , drive -by shootings by armed gangs and security forces alike, fascist marching men in neat regimented lines, chests puffed out like little sparrow-farts and the rest of the chaotic murderous, nonsense that has happened in our society… has already happened many times over. We now , collectively have voted into “power” a group of politicians to hammer out a solution to all these recurring problems.
The fact is , we have failed.There I’ve said it.It’s over. You just don’t know it yet.
Between us all or at least between the half of the population that actually votes , we have been absolutely unable to produce and breed any politicians that are capable of dealing with the problems. It’s a hard bald fact ,that although some of them can talk between themselves and obviously , assisted by a team of advisors, are able to shift reams of paperwork about from file cabinet to file cabinet { electronically ..or otherwise}, and appear on political television  shows like “the View”, they are ultimately unable to solve any of the problems we wanted them to solve.If you like , they really are not fit for purpose.
It’s like trying to teach ducks to rollerskate.
As they appear on television or radio, my eyes begin to glaze over and a tiny filter in my ears begins to block out the repetitive sound because I’ve heard and seen it all before . Years and years of it.There is not some novel new idea to hear .There is never going to be one. I am going to die without hearing a single idea worth a damn.
There is not one single creative political thought in their heads.There is a juvenile obsession with triviality and marching on our streets.The kind of stuff that any intelligent person would go on holiday to avoid.
At this moment in time ,the politicians on the unionist side have apparently finally realised this awful fact .They have come to the conclusion that they’ll never be any good at it .Their main minister, our First Minister has had to bow down to that awful fact that they cannot “do politics” so they are walking out on it. They probably think that it would all be so much easier to have Direct Rule again .They are obviously mentally gearing up to dissolve Stormont.
Things are much simpler when you can blame someone else.
So to Our Marty, Deputy First Minister ..
How much more benign, benevolent and …yes, “statesmanlike ” can one man be than to stand in front of reporters , as he did just now on the radio, and to explain the effect the  marital difficulties his partner in government, First Minister , Peter Robinson is having on him. He kindly made excuses for the problems brought on by the extra-marital affair that Iris , his partner’s wife , had launched  out on with a much younger man.Iris has always been something of a loose cannon but this is entirely new ground ,even for her. As Our Marty explained it so succinctly today, Peter is unable to do his job as First Minister properly because he is locked into a sado-masochistic relationship with some rabid background elements in his party. Apparently they have him handcuffed in a rubber gimp mask {I know , not in front of the children!} with his hands and feet bound in some esoteric bondage ritual and his mouth taped tightly shut around a mandarin orange(An apple would not do!). Marty is obviously a good friend,  trying  his best ,with hand on heart to help the poor fellow out with this public statement , but it’s obvious that Peter needs marriage guidance rather than diplomacy or Our Marty’s statesmanship.


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