Yeah! There they are …..They’re a bit like mushrooms , I suppose.I was having my little daily ramble .You’ve got to make some kind of an effort to exercise those flabby muscles….take that old body for a stroll and ” Get a bit of air , around you!” …as my late mother would say.
Well, of course you do, or you’ll soon turn into some twenty stone pudding who’s not fit to get out of the house. The firemen would be taking out a window next, just to get you and your bed down to the shops….Anyway where was I?…oh yes, mushrooms.
The wooden pallets had appeared overnight. Nobody ever seems to see them arriving, but there they are .We’re not talking about a few either . It’s not like it’s about twenty of them just lying there on the still verdant grass. No .There are hundreds of them there, dew laden now. That might only be the start of it too , because , like coathangers in a wardrobe , they seem to exponentially breed and grow like mamma and daddy mouse’s family in your attic; if left to their own fertile devices, there be thousands of them soon.
Anyway , look at them .They seem to be fine pallets , most of them .They don’t appear to be broken or distorted . They seem fit for purpose alright.You’d almost imagine they were made specifically for this very job. Somebody must have made them and stored them.Were they free? How can so many pallets become surplus to requirements every year. Somebody had to have a use for them at some time previously. Somebody had to say . “Hey, those pallets are a waste of space now. They’re useless. Get rid of them.” Somebody had to have time and go to the bother of loading them all onto a lorry, during their otherwise busy day, putting some diesel into it and then driving those timber frames from their origin to their new home , here on the late June grass.
That ‘s not all, either . A bunch of youngsters are going to gather up these perfectly fine wooden frames , spend long hours arranging and stacking them and finally at one great cosmic signal,finally offering them to the sky gods as a flaming torch. A statement to burn into the very heavens.Every year.
So what’s that all about, then ? A bonfire , you say ? A “good” fire if we’re being a bit “French”….or a “bonie” if you live in the Northern part of Ireland and enjoy burning things.
We’re all paying to set this all up , apparently .We’ll pay our councils to clean up the mess and any damage that might occur when this huge pile of pallets , tyres and old carcinogenic sofas scorch the skies and the surrounding flora, fauna and wildlife …and your PVC door if you’ve the temerity to live a wee bit too close.
Like i say , nobody seems to mind that we’ve already paid some nebulous committee to carefully dispose of those tyres and so on .I paid for mine a couple of months ago , anyway. It fairly adds to the price of a new tyre! {I had to buy four new ones to get the car through the MOT test.
}What about all that talk of deforestation and the damage to the ozone ? Oh, I don’t know if any of that matters in Ireland . That’s alright on the television, but not in real -life.We’re not really connected up to the rest of the world anyway. Those rain forests are a long way away and anyway we’ve got traditions to uphold. What would we do with a whole lot of old timber. It’s not as if we’re a Third World country where people would use up every scrap of excess waste , carve it and make it into souvenirs to sell back to gullible tourists. We don’t really like tourists anyway . We’re not all that keen on foreigners , either .
So anyway what would anybody want to do with a few thousand wee wooden planks anyway ?What could you do with them ? You’re safer burning them. The old joke was “What’s the differnce between us and mushrooms?…None …We’re both fed shit and kept in the dark.”
Not much changes here.We’ll all be fed shit and kept in the dark and the pallets will just pop up next year anyway …It’s nature, isn’t it? Somebody made a joke about that a long time ago. Pallets appear in the dark.Nobody knows how or why……
They grow just like mushrooms……


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