My first thoughts were …comedy, maybe? The subject was a serious one though. Some barrister was on the radio saying that by dressing provocatively  and getting hammered on alcoholic  drink ,women were actively encouraging slavering ,drooling men to rape them. He was n’t blaming the men .Those poor crude beasties , he implied , had no control over their lust-filled cojones  and were  doing what came naturally, preying on likely easy targets ,who dressed as though they were in the market for some knuckle -dragger with aggressive sex on his mind .He blamed the women for presenting the rapists  with sex- on- a- plate.His take on it was that there was no point in crying “rape!” in the clear light of sober dawn , when they’d encouraged it all along.In his world, the women were endangering themselves.I had to think that any woman appearing before such a barrister would be on a losing streak immediately.Should someone like that be expected  to practice fairly?

Of course, this subject  brought out a busload of comedy too . Someone called “Mrs White” , which may  well be a pseudonym for a “Mrs Whitehouse”  clone  {of 1960’s infamy} was on the radio  declaring that it was all caused by that “awful feminism”. Immodesty, she said , was a big factor in unleashing the baser animal lusts of the male of the species.Of course , it has to be said that rape is a horrendous crime of the abuse of power and can involve the rape of men and children too. How a small child or another man appeared provocative to their attacker, would be a question I would have asked .

It makes you wonder did she actually understand   how and why the world of humanity kept on spinning and how we as a species went about attracting mates down through the eons of time ; why did she think people were attracted to each other in the first place , if not by physical  presentation, initially. Even birds of paradise and peacocks  have evolved methods of decoration  to display their best sides to attract a mate .  They wave their  exquisite, feathered , finery for the world to see ,in the hope that a potential mate will be impressed .Female birds  queue up in the hope of being mated and the male hopes his display will please them. Whole industries have grown up around constantly changing fashions, cosmetics and ever evolving hairstyles.Even in war time , silk stockings and lipstick were a currency of barter , while mayhem raged all around. You could be assured  that if every other business went to the wall and closed down, even small towns would  still be  replete with several beauty parlours, hairdressing salons, numerous  nail-bars,sunbed  tanning parlours, keep -fit gyms  and  barbershops. People will always find money for the latest fashion trend , pots of  skin -enhancing potions or lipstick, even when they can’t afford food. It brought to mind a few lines from the Johnny Mercer song…

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive

Eliminate the negative

And latch on to the affirmative

Don’t mess with Mister In-Between”

People, and especially women, will always want to dress-up and feel attractive. That doesn’t mean that they want someone to savagely rape them .They want to sculpt their hair , bodies and faces with dyes and make-up. They want to enhance their bodies with plastic surgery and botox.Sometimes that will go all wrong for them, but they’ll try it anyway. If they have good legs , they’ll want to display them. If they haven’t such a sublime  shape ,they’ll want to disguise that fact with some very clever corsetry. They’ll pluck every single  body hair out of existence to present skin as smooth as a billiard -ball.They’ll do all those things to present themselves in their best possible light, for their own self-esteem , to compete with other women and ultimately to attract a mate of whatever sex…

Strangely enough, this being Norneverland , there was not a complete consensus on this , even from the women involved  in the conversation. If “Mrs White”  was a pantomime , production creation , possibly voiced by an actor, she couldn’t have appeared as any more of a cartoon character.Presenting herself as right of Hitler , she proceeded to quietly rant about what she thought was appropriate or not .It was all beginning to sound like the Taliban when she stated that a woman’s dress should be at least three inches below the knee. In her world , I imagine she saw lipstick as the ultimate provocation.It’s all in the mind , you see.

It was at this point when I thought that television companies in Norneverland  were really missing a trick .Surely there is room  for a  satirical  programme starring this “Mrs White”. it could be the “Till Death Do Us Part” for the 21st century. Someone needs to write this one.

“You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum

Bring gloom down to the minimum

Have faith or pandemonium’s

Liable to walk upon the scene”……Johnny Mercer

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